It's a Family Affair...

family (fm-l, fml) KEY

NOUN:
pl. families

A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

All the members of a household under one roof.

A group of persons sharing common ancestry. See Usage Note at collective noun.

Lineage, especially distinguished lineage.

A locally independent organized crime unit, as of the Cosa Nostra.

A group of like things; a class.

A group of individuals derived from a common stock: the family of human beings.

Biology A taxonomic category of related organisms ranking below an order and above a genus. A family usually consists of several genera. See Table at taxonomy.

Linguistics A group of languages descended from the same parent language, such as the Indo-European language family.

Mathematics A set of functions or surfaces that can be generated by varying the parameters of a general equation.

Chemistry A group of elements with similar chemical properties.

Chemistry A vertical column in the periodic table of elements.

ADJECTIVE:

Of or having to do with a family: family problems.
Being suitable for a family: family movies.

ETYMOLOGY:
Middle English familie, from Latin familia, household, servants of a household, from famulus, servant

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Never realized how many definitions there are for "family"

Roomie has a family wedding this weekend, and some of his relatives are staying here at our house. His parents, his sister and her kids.A few of his other relatives are staying nearby so theyve been in and out since Thursday.

At times I have found myself a bit jealous of their interactions...inside family jokes and all the camaraderie that big families have.

I remember times when my family gathered, cousins, aunts uncles, grandparents...and we had the same thing. It has been many years since I was a part of those gatherings...either because of finances or feeling like I wasnt really wanted around.

Growing up, after we moved to Missouri anyways, my dad always said my moms side of the family didnt like him and treated us differently because wed moved, and that theyd never approved of him as a husband for mom..etc. We would go to New York and sometimes things would be said...or some slight would be felt..and Dad would go off..and go hide in a room or drive off for awhile...or whatever. But I was never made to feel as if I wasnt one of the bunch.

In 1998 my niece and I drove to New York to visit my aunt and uncle and cousins and we stayed with my grandma (moms mother)We stayed for 10 days, and at first it was great...but then grandma and my niece had a fight...I cant recall what it was about, I know my grandma made a comment that my niece was so unlike my other cousins, didnt want to do things they used to do...My niece came to me after the fight and said some mean things about grandma...mostly the same stuff my dad used to say.It happened the day before we were to leave to come back home...and in hindsight we probably should have just left early. Grandma ended up spending the rest of the day avoiding my niece, and I tried to be a diplomat, with no results.The next morning, we planned to leave after church./..I wanted to go because my 2nd grade teacher was going to be there....she still remembered me (still does and she must be at least 80 something)and I always had to see her when in NY. Anyways the next morning we were getting ready for church and grandma said "Youre not leaving yet?" And seemed very upset when I said no, were leaving after church. She ended up staying home from church because she was so upset.

As those who read my other blog will know..I still regret not having resolved this conflict with grandma. She passed away last December.I still dont know where I stand with my aunt..or my cousins. Does it really matter? Welll...in some ways, yes. Should it matter? No, probably not.

I have long worried about what people really truly think of me. Its just insecurity...I know...and I read a quote...from some yogi somewhere... "What people think of me is none of my business."

But when youve been told by people who say they love you...that you are worthless and stoopid and will never amount to anything...well..you begin to doubt every word that anyone has ever told you in your life.

So..you wonder...did they really love me...

As some of you may know...I am adopted. I cant help but wonder how things might have been if Id been picked by a different family...or if my birth mother had kept me.

I do like a couple of the definitions above:

Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

All the members of a household under one roof.

So, by the second definition...I have a great family. Roomie, Sweetpea and I.

Trying not to feel jealous of my roomie and his family...to remember the good times I have had with mine...and to hope that in the future I can find another family...who loves me as I am.

I know I have one..or sort of one..with all my online and real life friends in St Louis and elsewhere.

So...thanks for being my family.

Hugggsssss