Bits and pieces

Feeling much better today. Did some yoga last night...MUCH needed. Good lord..WHY dont I do that every day?? I always feel so much better! Grrr!

Yesterday morning was well..stressful. I had to spend almost $750 on the car that I paid $800 to buy...the 2 front CV axle joint thingys had been busted for a couple months...and Id started hearing some new noises Friday, so had transferred my security blanket of money in savings to my checking to pay for whatever was needed. I took it to my local mechanic...and well, it wasnt the CV joints that were making the noises, it was my brakes...the rotors had gone bad, I recalled theyd told me theyd need to be replaced in the next 6 months..about 6 months ago...so, it was time. I had the money...and even though it was soooo stressful to be spending so much money to get everything fixed...I was also being stressed by worrying when the CV joints were gonna go (the tire guy had pointed them out a couple months ago, so it was just waiting to happen)...so I said, fix it all..and change the oil, its overdue.


So, after being stressed and crying and feeling like I was gonna lose it all and never be able to do the things I wanted cause I just couldnt hang on to money..and didnt seem to ever be able to do anything BIG that I dreamed about and...*breathing* and...how was I ever gonna get to Italy like this...

I realized that I needed to stop the snowball.

So I did...allowed myself to feel the stress and anxiety..but..I countered it with examples of when Id felt the same way...and it worked out..extra money came in..or something happened to ease the pressure.

And, I got home from my evening appointments...ate some cereal...and plopped down in the livingroom and did my evening stress relief yoga DVD. And was amazed at how just a 20 minute not very hard yoga DVD could make me feel wonderful and relaxed.

I read an article in the latest Yoga Journal- Decembers issue is about anxiety and stress- BTW- about how when we are in a constant state of stress, our fight or flight nervous system runs on overdrive.Which makes it even harder for us to relax. Little things, like loud noises, or even sudden movements, can trigger a HUGE stress response- cortisol and adrenaline release...not good for our bodies. Because the fight or flight thing is running in overdrive. To counter it...we need some yoga with exertion...like Warrior poses, and forward bends and twists. These poses activate your fight or flight too, but, in a gentle more cnstructive way. When you add the deep breathing and a bit of meditation to your yoga...you activate the calming nervous system. All this leads to you being able to fully and more deeply relax.

It does take a while to learn to be still. I still struggle. And, I can usually relax deeper in class than I can at home..which Ive heard is common..maybe because we set aside that time in the studio more fully..as in there are no distractions..TV, cell phone, family...it is more truly *our* time.

Today...I was looking at my schedule for the next week..and yeah, its busy...but not too bad.

And...then I looked at the total Im earning for the month with each company.

Im earning basically 2 months pay. In one month.

I will have my security blanket back..and then some.


I teared up..feeling sooo grateful...and looked up...said "Thank you, Universe...I will try not to worry." Then I laughed,as I felt a "Yeah right- we know better" come back...but not in a cynical bad way...in an affectionate friendly way. I teared up again, and laughed again..and said " Ok, we know that aint gonna happen...I will try to not worry so *much*- hows that sound?"

The Universe was okay with that. :)

And so am I.

And I just got a call from another person about cleaning her house every 3 weeks.

Its good to feel good again! :)