Arent they handsome guys??

These are the infamous Newfies. Angus is standing on the wall and Crusoe is on the ground.The only way to tell them apart is that Crusoe has a small white patch on his chest. If theyre laying down, you cant tell them apart.


Hope this picture captures their size...they each weigh about 140 pounds.

And...if they dont want to do something....it aint gonna get done. You cannot make a Newfie *do* anything. LOL

I have spent the night with them since Christmas night. Tonight is my last night with them..but, theyre one of my weekly clients and I clean their house so I'll be seeing them again.

They are huge sweet lovable blobs of fur and slobber...and other than the 2 nights when they didnt want to go to bed...and the other night when they decided at 3:30 am to start barking and not go back to sleep...well..its been a great time.

From the dogs...

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Hope this one is centered better :( Any idea how to get it so it doesnt cut part of the picture off?

Merry Christmas everyone! : )

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Bits and pieces

Feeling much better today. Did some yoga last night...MUCH needed. Good lord..WHY dont I do that every day?? I always feel so much better! Grrr!

Yesterday morning was well..stressful. I had to spend almost $750 on the car that I paid $800 to buy...the 2 front CV axle joint thingys had been busted for a couple months...and Id started hearing some new noises Friday, so had transferred my security blanket of money in savings to my checking to pay for whatever was needed. I took it to my local mechanic...and well, it wasnt the CV joints that were making the noises, it was my brakes...the rotors had gone bad, I recalled theyd told me theyd need to be replaced in the next 6 months..about 6 months ago...so, it was time. I had the money...and even though it was soooo stressful to be spending so much money to get everything fixed...I was also being stressed by worrying when the CV joints were gonna go (the tire guy had pointed them out a couple months ago, so it was just waiting to happen)...so I said, fix it all..and change the oil, its overdue.


So, after being stressed and crying and feeling like I was gonna lose it all and never be able to do the things I wanted cause I just couldnt hang on to money..and didnt seem to ever be able to do anything BIG that I dreamed about and...*breathing* and...how was I ever gonna get to Italy like this...

I realized that I needed to stop the snowball.

So I did...allowed myself to feel the stress and anxiety..but..I countered it with examples of when Id felt the same way...and it worked out..extra money came in..or something happened to ease the pressure.

And, I got home from my evening appointments...ate some cereal...and plopped down in the livingroom and did my evening stress relief yoga DVD. And was amazed at how just a 20 minute not very hard yoga DVD could make me feel wonderful and relaxed.

I read an article in the latest Yoga Journal- Decembers issue is about anxiety and stress- BTW- about how when we are in a constant state of stress, our fight or flight nervous system runs on overdrive.Which makes it even harder for us to relax. Little things, like loud noises, or even sudden movements, can trigger a HUGE stress response- cortisol and adrenaline release...not good for our bodies. Because the fight or flight thing is running in overdrive. To counter it...we need some yoga with exertion...like Warrior poses, and forward bends and twists. These poses activate your fight or flight too, but, in a gentle more cnstructive way. When you add the deep breathing and a bit of meditation to your yoga...you activate the calming nervous system. All this leads to you being able to fully and more deeply relax.

It does take a while to learn to be still. I still struggle. And, I can usually relax deeper in class than I can at home..which Ive heard is common..maybe because we set aside that time in the studio more fully..as in there are no distractions..TV, cell phone, family...it is more truly *our* time.

Today...I was looking at my schedule for the next week..and yeah, its busy...but not too bad.

And...then I looked at the total Im earning for the month with each company.

Im earning basically 2 months pay. In one month.

I will have my security blanket back..and then some.


I teared up..feeling sooo grateful...and looked up...said "Thank you, Universe...I will try not to worry." Then I laughed,as I felt a "Yeah right- we know better" come back...but not in a cynical bad way...in an affectionate friendly way. I teared up again, and laughed again..and said " Ok, we know that aint gonna happen...I will try to not worry so *much*- hows that sound?"

The Universe was okay with that. :)

And so am I.

And I just got a call from another person about cleaning her house every 3 weeks.

Its good to feel good again! :)

This is so cute!

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Rantings of a sexually frustrated woman

I wanted/ needed/ expected a remake of Caligula.

What I got was a cross between a slightly boring play party and a high school dance with the boys on one side and the girls on the other...only the boys were now middle aged men who couldnt even bother to put on a friggin dress shirt (and some who didnt seem to comb their hair or shave too- hello- dont you people have a dress code?? Supposedly?? And to those men...please...if Im gonna get all sexed up in my hot red dress and silver sandals..the least you could do is put on a dress shirt. No, it neednt be black, as a matter of fact, itd be even better if it wasnt. A little extra effort, please!

*sighs*

I should have known better that buying condoms and looking all hot and feeling all hot and sexy...was no guarantee that sex would happen. Even if it was implied in the theme of the evening...an " Anything Goes" play party where penetration was allowed. In a private dungeon.

Perhaps I *should* have done the naked blindfolded "touch me" thing I was fantasizing about. Maybe that would have gotten things started.

But, I lacked 2 things to make it happen. Courage...and that sexual bodyguard to watch over things, to make sure everyone used a condom and that my limits were respected. I would have let them be known..yes, but just wanted someone to "have my back" so to speak, in case things got out of hand or I was somehow made unable to fight back.

The fact that I came there looking for sex...does that make me any different than the trolls that used to come to FLOG looking to get laid? I apologize if it does. I am not a troll. I am just a woman who has redicovered her sexual power...and who bought the hottest most sexy dress shes ever owned in her life...and who hoped to enjoy a night filled with sexual fantasies coming true...only to leave early because she was bored and not feeling very damn sexy after walking around for 2 hours..and the only man who spoke to her spit in her face while he was talking- not on purpose...but damn..it grossed me out!

*sighs* Maybe it just wasnt my time. I dont know.

I dont hold the hosts responsible...it was a good party and a great idea. I hope to return next month...a little wiser..with perhaps a different view.

Now I understand, Grandma

Back in 1998, my niece who was...15 at the time, and I drove up to NY State to visit our relatives up there. We had fun on the way and most of the time there.

We stayed for 10 days...and stayed with my...80 something year old grandma, my moms mother. She was the ultimate grandmother, as far as cooking and baking and wisdom and such. My other grandma gave wisdom and money.

One day my niece and grandma had words while out in grandmas garden...I don't recall what it was about..but seem to remember it was that grandma had asked Shannon to do something that "all the other cousins did when they were growing up" and well, my niece being herself..didnt want to do it and told her so..and grandma couldnt handle a child telling her no. So, feelings were hurt, and well..I guess in hindsight we should have left that day..but we stayed another 2 days I believe. We had plans to go up to the Thousand Islands the next day and I didnt want to miss that.Yeah, in hindsight, not the best plan.

Anyways, we left on Sunday..after church, because again, I had something I didnt want to miss...church where my second grade teacher was, who still remembers me and always asks about me. We were getting ready to go, and I noticed grandma wasnt getting ready. I asked her if she was going to church with us. She said something to the effect of "Youre not leaving YET?" I decided to drive to church and leave right after. My aunt came over and talked with grandma, and then me..and explained that grandma was old (duh) and was feeling stressed and tired from our visit. We had a good talk, my aunt and I...I was still upset with grandma about the fight with my niece, so didnt talk to her (wish I had now) and well, I got my feelings hurt when she said "Youre not leaving YET?"

Well, tonight...my kitchen shrunk and when there were 4 of us trying to get supper on the table and what I did they undid or changed...I had to excuse myself and go upstairs and do some deep breathing. Or someone was gonna get hurt. LOL

Since Tuesday, I have been home pretty much all day, with an hour or 2 here and there of being gone. Roomies parents have been here with him after his surgery.There are very VERY sweet people...but they are people. 2 more people and a hyper dog who doesnt know manners than are usually in my house.Theyve been here since 2 weeks ago Saturday, but with his surgery, and I spent some time at the hospital with him and being gone doing pet sitting..I hadnt been around them much till Tuesday.

So, apparently, 3 days of 24/7 is all I can handle.

I started to think on this..and got depressed, thinking Im gonna end up a crazy cat lady because I cant stand to be around people for more than 3 days, and so well, I cant possibly ever stand to have a husband or a live-in lover with that attitude, so Im doomed to a life of loneliness because of my intolerance.

Yes, that is what my thoughts snowballed into.

But, after awhile, the rational side of my brain (thank goodness its there and is learning to speak up, or Im learning to listen to it) spoke up and said "Um, no, that is not right."

What has happened is, I havent done yoga, napped, or much to have down time or alone time. Either I was too busy to, or wanted to be with them. Yes, I wanted to spend time with them yesterday and tonight Im ready to drive them across the state line to get them out of my house. LOL

So..I am not doomed to a life of solitary confinement. I simply need to take better care of me, and allow for, and request some alone time, some down time...time for just *me*


Now I see where Grandma was coming from. I glanced up and whispered "Now I understand" awhile ago.

:)

Catching up on gratitude...

Fell behind in my thank you posts..so Im gonna try to recall.

Calls from my niece that make me laugh as Im driving to yet another pet sitting appointment

Dogs that know youve had a bad day so they hang closer to you and let you pet them as they lick your hand. Thank you Sweetpea, Bailey and Mally.

Purr therapy sessions with bonus massages on that same bad day. Thank you,Nub. :)

Understanding dog owners.

Feeling tired but realizing I *can* do it.

Doing the right thing even though I thought for sure Id be fired for it.(the dogfight-and calling my boss and the owner about it right away)

My former nurse spidey senses working.(knowing roomie was worsening and assessing the dogs and my own hand)

Betadine, Hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin

Tension Tamer Tea from Celestial Seasonings

Competent and compassionate hospital staff

The "E" Hospital

Valet parking at the E hospital...which isnt that more expensive ($2 diff) and beats the hassle of parking in the garage and that long ass walk

yellow cake with chocolate frosting

Friends

Kinky Politics

*ahem*

I just voted for Buncum in the run-off election.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

:)

Dogfight...dogbite

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud


Well...now that Ive had a couple days to think about it...I am realizing how damn lucky I am to not have gotten hurt more than I did.

I had to break up a dog fight Sunday morning.Why did it happen? Because I let 2 dogs whose owner said they were to be kept seperate because "once every 9 months or so" they fight...like have to go to vet and get stitches fight. And I had gotten lax (and let myself get run down so I wasnt fully paying attention) because the dogs had gotten along so well and were sooo sweet. Well, as the song says "We Wont Get Fooled Again"

It was the most horrifying moment of my life.This was not snapping to say "Get away" this was furiously fighting to the death. It was a border collie and a small German Shepherd. Both females. I still am not sure *how* I got them apart.

But somewhere in the tangle of fur and fury, my left hand(thank goodness it wasnt my right, nor was it worse) got in between one dogs neck and the others mouth.

I have one kinda deep but small puncture wound and a couple little bites where just the skin was broken.It is mnostly sore, from the dogs jaws clamping down on it.

No..I havent seen a doctor. I am up on my tetanus, and the dogs are up on their shots...Ive been soaking it and bandaging it and soaking it more and watching it closely for ANY signs of infection. It was pretty sore the 1st 2 days, I do have full range of motion, its just sore. No numbness or loss of dexterity. Im a former nurse so know what to look for as far as infection and nerve damage.

Today it is not so sore, and I have been kind of moving my hand around, to keep it from getting stiff.

Now if I could only make the panic attacks where I see the dogs turning on me as I try to break them apart go away. Which I am damn lucky didnt happen...but am trying not to think about.

Theyre only fleeting images though, and I only panic for a few seconds and it subsides.

I called a dog trainer my boss knows today and left him a voicemail asking if he had any tips or would be available to talk to me about this.