This is the image I see. I am looking down...then...I slip...and looking up at the people with me...all I can do is say goodbye...
as I fall..down..down...down...
I dont land...I always stop the image before I hit the ground.
I have tried seeing myself flying instead of falling as a therapist once told me...but the "PEOPLE CANT FLY!" negative faerie pops up and yells at me till that image gets taken away.
I am not scared of heights. Or at least I never thought I was. I dont think thats it. It feels...when I *do* spend time with this fear...that its more of a control thing...that once I slip..I can do nothing to save myself.I cant grab onto a rope or tree or anything. I am left to just fall..into the air..to my death. I cant save myself...and no one else can either.
I am planning to go back to this damn mountain...and climb to that spot I sat and was scared of slipping...and tell it I am no longer scared...and then go beyond it to the top of the mountain.
And breathe in the amazing fresh air...and laugh at my fears...and cry tears of joy and feel empowered because I have conquered yet another fear.
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