Happy Halloween!!

more animals

For M-A ; )

Never underestimate the POWER!!

Yep, thats him. Lookin' fine at age 60.

Taken from the middle balcony in a very cool local rock club the Tabernacle...which used to be a church..but now it is just a very cool place (except for the stairs...the many flights of stairs you had to climb to get to either your seats or the bathrooms...lol)

There were rooms all around the place, there was a room with a bed we dubbed the orgy room...the max capacity sign said 28 people..so we told people thered be an orgy there after the show.

Oh, yeah, the show.

Wow.

Wish Id started seeing Jackson live years ago. If he was that amazing at age 60 with a cold and rude drunk people asking him to play Freebird...well..I can only imagine what he was like back in the 70's.

He played many songs from his new CD which apparently is very hard to come by here in Atlanta...not due to selling out..but because the stoopid stores around me didnt get any shipped to them. *sighs* Target youre next on my list...if you dont have it..Im gonna hurt someone. LOL He played "Lives In the Balance" a song written in 1985...when the world was a much different place..and we were "fighting" an enemy we could identify and see...the Russians...but the lyrics are still very relevant and moving. It is a song meant to be heard and felt live. Of course he played the hits, Doctor My Eyes (without the bongos, it isnt the same) Runnin' On Empty, Boulevard...he didnt play "Shape of A Heart" or For a Dancer...but you know what...its okay. :)

I still saw one of the greatest singer songwriters of all time, up close and personal...I got to go to a cool place Id never been to...I got to cry at song lyrics which have touched me as well as millions of others. I got to dress up and look and feel sexy.

Jackson, thank you for all the music, and for touching my heart. C'mon back to Hotlanta anytime you can. I hope the people wont be so rude next time. Please dont hold it against those of us who were there to hear you and bask in your music.

Have things changed that much in 6 years??

I went to a concert Monday night for the 1st time in like 6 or 7 years. Now, granted it was a more intimate setting, a club of 2,000 as opposed to the Pyramid in Memphis,TN... but...I was amazed that people felt they had the right to...yell out song requests.

(still wish Jackson had played "Freebird" as many in the crowd kept yelling...he *did* say his band could play anything...lol)

At one point, Jackson in a very nice but effective way said..."How about you let me play the songs *I* want to?" to someone who kept yelling for something.

My favorite though was when he was telling us a story and a very drunk lady came up to the edge of the stage and started talking to him. He said "Excuse me, but Im having a conversation with the *whole* place, not just you, please sit down."

That's why we luv ya, Jackson...you do have a way with words.

Sorry you had a cold...maybe next time you can come to my house and I'll fix you some soup...chicken soup if youre not a vegetarian...or mushroom barley if you are. I guarantee you will feel better.

And maybe after the soup...some sex? I hear its really good for colds...;)

This is waaayyy too cute!

see more puppies

Open up...let go...why cant I do this??

Why do I constantly feel like Im shutting myself, heart body and soul...off to anyone or anything getting in?

What is it Im so damn scared of?

Is it because I think I'll look foolish? Whats the worst that could happen? Yeah, people might laugh at me. Talk about me. For awhile...till the next silly fool happened along.

Why must I always be in control of things, of myself..of others even? Why do I hunger so much to be allowed to "just be" but yet not allow others to do so?

Damn you, Jackson Browne...you always make me look inside. And think.

*sighs*

Fox Theater pics

Fox Marquee from the side at night. Beautiful, isn't it?




Me outside the Fox. Loooo-king gooood!




Fox Marquee taken from across the street at the Georgian Terrace Hotel. The matinee show had just let out.

*THE* dress

Damn, I clean up pretty good, dont I?





No, the Benz isn't mine. Does make a nice backdrop though. (Its also the "nice clean" thing I wasnt gonna get started about in my last blog entry...lol)

My birthday adventure

After a morning/early afternoon of work, it was time to enjoy my day.

I drove home after my cleaning job and a trip by the Fox Theater to orient myself to wher I needed to go after getting off MARTA (Took MARTA to avoid traffic and or ridiculous parking lot prices- lowest was $15, highest was $30...geezzz)found the station was only 2 blocks from the theater-whoo-hoo! Got home, hopped in the bath to start the "making myself bootiful" process. Nice relaxing bath...yummm...out, put on makeup,painted nails (toes too) got dressed...omg...I look wonderful. I wore the purple "OMG, I cant believe this is only $9.99" dress, its a halter dress, light purple and dark purple fabric, light...chiffon I think its called, its light and breezy and beautiful. Black hose, black dress shoes that I got at Goodwill for under $5. I think my makeup cost more than my clothes...lol.

Went to pick up roomie and bring him home from office as he didnt wnat to drive his nice clean...oh, dont get me started...lol.

He took pics of me (I will get them developed and posted here soon, I pwomise!) and then it was off to the MARTA station. The train took a long time to get there..and this lil Mexican guy was squicking me out...asking all sorts of personal questions..and not understanding why a beautiful woman like me wouldnt want to have children. And did not want to accept my "I just dont, okay?" answer. Yes, Christine needs to stop giving away so much info to strange men. The train took a long time.

OK...so he gets in one car.,..I get in another, thank God I lost him. Geezz.

Off we go..uneventful trip. I get to the stop I need...find the sign that says "Fox Theater this way" walk up the hill after crossing the street thinking I needed to go that way..get to the top of the hill and Peachtree, look left...nope, that doesnt look familiar...turn right, yep, theres the box office. Yay! So I go to the box office window, and get the details about the lottery. Background, I did not have a ticket yet, so no guarantee I was gonna even get to see Wicked. It was my birthday and Id been sacrificing to the birthday Gods all day to make my wish come true. They do a lottery 2 hours before every show, you put your name in, they draw out 10 names and you get tickets for $25 cash. I had decided if they didnt draw my name, Id still go out to eat or something, shame to get all this dressed up and not do anything.

So, the time comes to line up for the lottery...I meet a lady standing in line whos in town for business and decided to come take her chances too, even after the hotel desk clerk told her "You know its a lottery, you might not win" So, we each wanted to buy 1 ticket- you could buy 2, so we decide to share our chances, if they call her, I could buy her other ticket and vice versa. So, names in..crossed fingers and all but the legs...5 names are drawn, not mine..Im getting nervous..."Christine Peek" gets called. OMG, thats ME!!! Or its a common mispronouncement of my name...lol.I walk up and show my ID and say "Thank you, its my birthday , thank you for making my wish come true" or something similarly bubbly and gushy...lol. I stand aside and wait with the lady to see if they draw her name too. Her name is the next one called. LOL We are both in shock...she tells them to draw another name as we are sharing my tickets. And we walk to the box office to get the tickets. I text my friends....OMG...I still cant believe it!

We decide to get some food at Gladys Knights down the street...we walk there, its maybe 3 blocks from the theater. Yikes, 45 minute wait...nope, not enough time.We walk back in the direction of this little gourmet wrap and sub place...on the way a guy hands us a 10% off coupon for the Broadway diner which is next door to the sub place, but somehow we missed it.... Its a great place, has greek food, Italian, and OMG, the desserts looked fantastic! Beautifully decorated cakes, cookies, etc. The place has all this Broadway memoriabilia on the walls, and mirrors and bright lights...its great. Will definitely be going back. Food was great, I had a Caprese panini- grilled chicken, mozzarella, tomato and basil on panini bread. Yummm. We shared a greek salad. It was all great, we had a great time, good food, good conversation. Perfect so far. :)

So back to the theater we went...damn, wanted a program, but Im not gonna spend $20 for one, sorry. Inside, we find our seats...the usher said go to your right and its all the way down. Ok...so we walk..down and down and down....um...we have 3rd row seats!!for $25!!! OMG..more texts to my friends...lol.

Looking around the theater...oh myyy...it is spectacular. The pic above is of the ceiling and balcony. The ceiling looks like a night sky, complete with clouds which move across it throughout the show.Amazing.

The show begins....my first live theater off Broadway Broadway show. I am hooked. Wicked is the story of the Wicked Witch before Dorothy came along. How she got to be so Wicked, basically. And, it is the second time...that I have been made to feel that this dark character is just misunderstood and cant help but be the way they are. The first one was Star Wars Revenge of the Sith when I found myself feeling sorry for Darth Vader. Perhaps I am going to teh Dark Side afterall. lol.

Act 1 ends with an amazing song..."Defying Gravity" Elphaba (the Wicked Witch of teh West) has just discovered that the Wizard has no power...and has discovered taht she has some amazing strengths. It is a very appropriate song for me, with all Ive been working on the past 2 years. Discovering my own power..and realizing that who I thought held all the power is really just a scared little person. I cried, as the lyrics are very touching, and it is a very breathtaking performance.

Intermission...we switched seats, because, well even though they were 3rd row, they werte on the right side, and part of the stage blocked our view...she said she could see a little bit more than me she thought so offered to switch.

The second act was amzing also...my fave song there was "As Long as Your Mine" sung by Elphaba and Fiyero, the love interest of the play. I hope to sing that song someday with my own lover. :)

Love her line after the song ends...when theyre making out....she says she feels something...for the first time in her life...she feels..."WICKED" said with an evil sexy tint as she knocks him over kissing him...loved it! :)

It was a wonderful play...if you havent seen it, I encourage you to go. You wont be disappointed. :)

After the show we waited a bit for the crowd to thin out, we had talked of going back to the diner for coffee and cake, but shed been up since 4 am and was tired, so we parted ways with a hug. The usher told me the easiest way to get back to the MARTA station was to go out this side exit and up one block and cross the street and I was there. So I did..and walked by a group gathered...I thought waiting for taxis...but someone said "They will come out that side door and sign autographs" OMG..to meet the cast and get autographs woul just complete the night! So, I waited, in the wind and cold..with otehrs..and got the main characters autographs...and..I told Carmen who played Elphaba that "Defying Gravity" made me cry and thanked her for making my birthday a great night. We hugged and she wished me a Happy b-day and seemed touched...:)

OK..so now..the part I was dreading..the ride home on MARTA at night.I have only ridden Marta a few times..once at night.I was scared shitless...but kept reminding myself of the safety things Id heard..stay near the doors and or emergency phone...hold onto your purse...stay alert.Luckily there were many people from the play riding so I felt safe in the crowd.I even spoke to some young men whod gotten on the wrong train (they had wanted the Southbound train and got on the north)Soon I was at my stop..and walked fast and alert to my car, which Id parked nearest the entrance and under a light. Home..hungry, still "Defying Gravity" smiling and feeling great after a wonderful eveing.

Im a pretty good date, if I do say so myself. :)

I want to try defying gravity....; )

I saw Wicked tonight at the Fox Theater here. Amazing and inspiring show.This song made me cry. It closes the first act. I will blog more about my night in the morning...if I get to sleep that is. Im still defying gravity...:)




Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand
You're having delusions of grandeur?

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Glinda, come with me. Think of what we could do - together!

Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been - Glinda!
Dreams the way we planned 'em

GLINDA
If we work in tandem

GLINDA & ELPHABA
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defying gravity
With you and I defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!

Well, are you coming?

(GLINDA decides to stay behind.)

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
I hope your happy now that your choosing this -

ELPHABA
You too--
I hope it brings you bliss

GLINDA & ELPHABA
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy my friend

ELPHABA
So if you care to find me
Look to the Western sky!
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high, defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!!

I wonder...

If she thinks of me...like I think of her every year on this day.

I wonder if she thinks of me at all.

I wonder what shes like. What does she look like...what does she like to eat. Does she like to cook and read and do yoga like me? Do I have her eyes? Her nose? Her body? Would she sit down and have a cup of tea with me?

I know she was wanting to become a vet...is that where I get my love of animals?

I hope she thinks of me.

She gave me life.

My brother may be an asshole...

But he sure made some beautiful daughters. And smart ones too.

The woman with the baby is Shannon, shes 26, his first child. The cute lil thing on the beach is his youngest (that I know of) Kodie Jo. I havent seen her since she was a baby. Shes 15 I believe. He has 2 boys, Cooper and Levon, but my family hasnt had contact with them since they were born...Shannon tried to contact them a couple years ago but my brothers ex wife wouldnt have anything to do with her.

Kodie found Shannon on the internet a few years ago, and theyve gotten close.

They are both strong, beautiful intelligent women.

I am proud to call them my nieces. :)

Yes...I know...

more animals

At this rate...I'll live forever!

http://news.aol.com/article/woman-105-credits-no-sex-for-long-life/207584

OK..so its only been a year. LOL. Guess it isn't *really* that long. She *never* had sex.

Love the last line..."I'm hardly likely to get drunk and do something silly at my age."

Oh why not!??!

lol

Jealousy

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them."
~Jennifer James

Found this while searching for an image of jealousy. I really like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


All I can think of is how last weekend he was fed up with her...shed gotten drunk..said he didnt think hed be seeing her anymore.

Or maybe thats what I heard.

Tonight she was back.

Why do I let this bother me? I still have feelings for him. He does not "love" me. Do I even know what the fuck that means?

Love does not mean wanting to spend every last friggin second of the day with someone. Love does not mean doing everything together..or being in sync all the time. I dont know what it is...but I know...that no man has ever given it to me. No man has told me he loves me. Ive never been anyones anything.

I need to figure out why that matters to me so goddamn much. Is it because I was given up for adoption? Is it because somwhere in my mind that means I am unworthy?

All my life I have sought approval from others...so the pattern continues.If I was good enough, did this right, said this, acted that way, I would be loved. If I screwed up...I was unlovable, horrible, totally worthless.

And how do I find love...when I cant even love myself.

I know that is the key.

But how does one get from point A to point B.

And can I accomplish it...before I die. So I dont end up alone.

I know my niece would prolly help take care of me...and she has already said shed write my obituary for me.

I just dont want to die without having lived.

And I am slowly realizing that I havent done much living in my soon to be 41 years. Because I have let fear hold me back.

Oh...my...gawd

These *are* end times.

My parents are redecorating (not remodeling as I said in someones blog-sorry!) their house.Actually, its almost done.Wow. Im still in shock.

They have replaced that dark gold ugly 70's era carpet which was getting quite worn in spots. They have replaced the matching heavy gold drapes with vertical blinds. The shears and heavy flowered drapes on the floor to ceiling windows in the corner are being replaced also with vertical blinds. The walls which were a bright buttercup yellow are now a calming blue.

And thats just the livingroom!

The sliding glass doors in the diningroom are now French doors with vertical blinds between the glass panes. The front door has been replaced with a steel door with a window (before it was a metal screen door and a white wooden door with no window)
Theres a new light fixture in the bathroom down the hall. Wonder if they replaced the carpet in the hall and Dads room?lol. Its been there for 35 years at least. Hmm..maybe I will call Mom back.

My parents have made few changes to the house in the 33 years they have lived there.The buttercup yellow paint in the livingroom was one...a few years ago mom put up a border and painted the hall bathroom...recently they got one of those walk in bathtubs installed in there...um..Dad put up truck themed wallpaper in his bathroom...that was at least 25 years ago...lol.

I am so glad they have done this. Changes...good changes. I am pleasantly surprised. Maybe there's hope for the old folks yet. :)

Still kickin' ass...21 years later

Wow...I found a Rolling Stone mag from last year in one of my petsitting clients rooms (I went in there to turn off their alarm because the dogs were freaking out about it...lol) it was actually from last year..and Guns and Roses was on the cover. The original Guns and Roses. Axl, Duff, Slash, Izzy, Steven. 5 guys who wrote and recorded one of the greatest albums ever made.

Appetite For Destruction

I read the article..and tried to recall where I first heard the boyz. I decided it was prolly on a radio show that I spent every Monday night listening to from 1985 to 1990 or so...Metalshop. I think Mr Brownstone was the first song I heard...and I was hooked. I had no idea what it was about...didnt care. It rocked.

I was working at the nursing home the year it came out. My first job..my first taste of independence. I was driving the Ford Granada that Id gotten handed down from my brother. It had a cassette player. Wore out many a tape in that deck. 1987 was an awesome year for metal. Motley Crue Girls Girls Girls came out...Def Leppards Hysteria...omg..all these memories.

I remember I got Circus magazine every month (my dad hated me buying it, but it was MY money so he couldnt say anything...though he still did) It had articles about GNR and Ratt and Motley Crue...interviews, stories about their wild lives. *sighs*

and theres lil ol me who wanted to marry one of them..I could never decide who though...so many to choose from..Axl, Duff, Stephen Pearcy, Juan Croucier, Robbin Crosby, Bret Michaels, Bobby Dall...Nikki Sixx or Tommy Lee...decisions decisions...lol. I was gonna marry a rock star...move to LA ..and become a social worker and save the world.

My fave track...depends on my mood...Nightrain...lol..I used to buy this cheap wine...loved it...my friend Patty puked for the first time when drunk after she drank this. Maybe Ill pick up a bottle this weekend...lol.Tasted like cough syrup,but after the first drink..you didnt care!!! Good fun song. Think About You...kinda a lonely longing song...but also good memories. :)

Anything Goes...lol..of course..I like this. loved it back then too..so I guess the kinky sprinkles were there even then.( and I was still a virgin!!) "Panties round your knees with your ass in da breeze,doin' that grind with the push and squeeze.Tied up tied down up against the wall, be my rubber mate baby and we can do it all." yep...sounds like a fun night to me :) I remember reading a story back in the day about Axl having sex upside down on a train in London.Many a hot fantasy came from that story...;)

Rocket Queen (it has live sex on it, of course I like it!)always loved this, no matter what my mood. Not so much the beginning though it is a kickass song...but the end where it gets all emotional and hopeful. " If you need a shoulder, or if you need a friend, Ill be here standin' until the bitter end"

Ahhh..memories...:)

Off to dream of sex upside down on a train...:)

Still not an LOL *cat*

see more puppies

Well..it *isn't* an LOLcat

see more puppies

Damn Mountain!!

This is the image I see. I am looking down...then...I slip...and looking up at the people with me...all I can do is say goodbye...

as I fall..down..down...down...

I dont land...I always stop the image before I hit the ground.

I have tried seeing myself flying instead of falling as a therapist once told me...but the "PEOPLE CANT FLY!" negative faerie pops up and yells at me till that image gets taken away.

I am not scared of heights. Or at least I never thought I was. I dont think thats it. It feels...when I *do* spend time with this fear...that its more of a control thing...that once I slip..I can do nothing to save myself.I cant grab onto a rope or tree or anything. I am left to just fall..into the air..to my death. I cant save myself...and no one else can either.

I am planning to go back to this damn mountain...and climb to that spot I sat and was scared of slipping...and tell it I am no longer scared...and then go beyond it to the top of the mountain.

And breathe in the amazing fresh air...and laugh at my fears...and cry tears of joy and feel empowered because I have conquered yet another fear.

*Inhale...Exhale...ahhhhhh*

more animals

I am spending waaayyyy too much time on this site...lol

more animals

more animals

Instant Karma

Had a conversation in my head awhile ago (I hope others have conversations in their head...its so much fun, Id hate to be the only one! LOL) about Karma and retribution.

The other night, after a long day...I had just sat down to eat when my cell rang, I looked at the number, it was the pet sitter Ive helped out many times who is sometimes a pain in the ass and makes me feel guilty...no..rephrasing..*I* let her make me feel guilty if I have to say no, I cant help you this time. Anyways...I had already helped her out that day, she called at 9:30 the night before to say "Her daughter was having surgery and she had thought it was only gonna be an hour or so surgery, but no, its gonna be a couple hours and could I please just do one visit for her?" As it was the easiest visit of all, letting a dog out in the yard and then giving him a treat and water and petting...and hes a sweetie..I said yes. It was also on my way to another visit I had, so not a problem.

So..she is on my phone...I let it go to voicemail because I didnt want to talk to her at that moment and I was trying to eat at 7:30 at night. I listened to her voicemail after a few minutes. She said in this pitiful voice that she had spent all day at the hospital and had taken her husband to the doctor too (she knew he had to go the night before when she called me) and she was "just sick" and wanted me to go do 2 visits for her that night (at 7:30) because she was just so sick. The visits were with dogs I had never done...I would have to drive to her house to get the keys...then to the houses...not get home till at least 10 prolly...I still had laundry to do..and our cable was out at home so needed to call about that...not to mention I was tired and just wanted to relax. So...after throwing a bit of a hissyfit (ok, a big one)...and deciding I wasnt going to call her back under any circumstances, she was gonna have to take care of this shit herself...Im tired of her poor planning and not taking care of herself and figuring out what she can do and what she cant..and always calling me when she gets overwhelmed.

*sighs*

Anyways, I didnt call her back..she called me after 15 minutes and said she would go ahead and do teh visits herself and that she might need my help in the morning because she was just so sick. I told myself, um, no..I have 2 houses to clean tomorrow plus a couple of my own visits that I have to juggle around because the people ahve asked for a specific time which doesnt jive with the cleaning appointments..so NO...I CANT HELP YOU!

Then the guilt started...shes in her 70's...she has been treated for bladder cancer, has finished chemo and radiation...and had been doing good, getting back into the swing of working and such. She has a disabled husband who she takes care of too...would it REALLY kill me to help her out?? But then the bitch started...she (the lady) always calls me when shes gotten herself overwhelmed, Im supposed to bail her out because she doesnt know how to say no and ask for help and take care of herself because shes a damn codependent just like me...and why is any of this *MY* fucking problem?? Back and forth it went...till I was in tears, hating myself for not helping...but at the same time not wanting to because I was tired myself and know that I have trouble saying no too and end up getting sick too when I overextend myself.

So...back to the karma thing. This morning I got a call from the people whod booked a couple overnights next weekend, saying their plans had changed and they had to cancel. Great...so here it comes..my punishment for not helping and being selfish...then it hit me. Why is *my* karma instant..and serial killers and OJ Simpson and such have to wait years before "getting theirs"?? What makes *ME* so horrible that I am punished almost instantly for little infractions and bits of selfishness...and they do MUCH more horrible things and dont get anything done till they go to prison or even till they die??

OK..off to clean yet another house then go have some fun tonight :)