Wednesday, May 14, 2008

How do you know?

How do you tell whats really happening...and what your mind is projecting..or imagining is whats happening.

Yes, I know...wtf am I talking about. lol

OK..for instance..and this is what made me ask the question...you think you see someone being a certain way...we'll say being needy...asking you for help all the time..without seeing if they can do it themselves first. You get upset with them for asking you yet again to help them. Then you get upset with yourself for being upset...what they asked for isnt that big of a deal..and really you werent doing anything anyways..so why *cant* you help them out??

You also ask why it is that you are encouraged to not be and criticized for having been and being so needy...but it seems others are as needy or more needy thatn you are or were...but somehow thats okay...because when you call them on it..it seems you get excuses and get told oh youre just seeing things wrong.

How do you see whats really going on...when your mind has been making things up (as if life isnt hard enough..your mind has to make shit up...geezzz)

How do you make sure whats really going on before you react to it?

And how do you learn to trust yourself and your perception when you and it have been so messed up for so long?

I hate to start this blog on a note like this..but this is something thats been weighing on my mind today. Has been for a couple days actually.

1 comment:

Uncle said...

Well me, when the bad thoughts come, I just factor them in as "oh, here's that usual shit." Tried to explain this once to someone who wondered why with all this talent (his term)I was still so apprehensive. I just said I haven't had self-esteem in so long that I've learned how to get along without it.
It works, too...some squeaky patches but it does. The trick is that you have to face those parts that you'd like to change but can't. Face them with eyes open and say "I know you," and just get on with business. hugs and such,