Last night,after a long frustrating tiring day...and a few pep talks..I went to a Meetup Group meeting at the Self Discovery Center off Ponce De Leon in Atlanta.
It is a house owned by the Hare Krishna Temple (which is next door) but it is not just a tool to promote them. As a matter of fact, the only time it was mentioned was when we were told what the Center was, and Andrew our host explained a ceremony that was going on while we were cooking the dinner. The Hare Krishna only ask that the Center be used to promote well being and self discovery. :)
I got there early, partly because I had left early in case I got lost, and also because I wanted to explore the palce a bit and meet the others who were attending.
It was so worth going. :)
I met Andrew in the kitchen -preparing the vegetarian dinner we were to eat- the meeting was a dinner and then a presentation- it is going to be a weekly thing, with various topics from yoga and meditation to food to self help. He showed me where to take my shoes off, and I offered to help in the kitchen, which he gladly accepted because his helper was late.So I got busy washing the mixed greens and romaine for the huge salad he was making, then I chopped some peppers, washed some sprouts alfalfa and some sort of bean sprout-forgot to ask. I used a food processor for the first time and grated some carrots, then I mixed it all together. It was fun, and I learned a couple things, as well as just being around others.
The entree was delicious...it was tempeh and potatoes, in a sauce made from grated ginger and coconut,pureed lentils, with greens beans and cilantro. It was great except for the cilantro. I just dont care for it...lol. I will eat it, but it just isnt on my fave tastes list.
We also had brown rice, and the salad, which had a dressing made from pureed avocados, olive oil,lemon juice...oh, and sour cream.
There was some red tea made from hibiscus flowers, with lemon juice and a couple other flavors I cant recall. It was delicious too.
Along with all the good healthy food, there was the fellowship.Everyone helped clean up, everyone carried a chair to the big room for the meeting, it was just great to be around warm and friendly people.
The presentation was on "Awakening to Wholeness" and healing emotional blocks. Basically it was sitting down with your emotions...feeling them fully, not judging, not being afraid of them..but allowing them to speak...and then questioning them...and countering them with the opposite feeling.
He started out with everyone looking at a numbered listy of emotional states and ranking ourselves...4 being so-so, numb, not up nor down. 1 was the lowest-damage control, thinki8ng of harming yourself or others. 2 was very uncomfortable and seriously frustrated,3 was somewhat uncomfortable and frustrated, 5 was fairly positive and resourceful, 6 was joyful, peaceful,grateful,confident and whole, and 7 was "peak experience" which I guess means blissful and very happy.
Then he aksed for a volunteer to do an exercise.Not physical, but mental.
I did not volunteer to be the demo...I was feeling very out of sorts...and was afraid if I did something would happen that would embarrass me and the others and Id never go back.
There was a brave lady who did volunteer...and while I wont go thru what she said, I will say what the exercise was.
He had her sit and breathe a moment...then asked her to say "I am angry that:" and state whatever she was angry about.And keep saying it ,louder, fully expressing it..even cussing at one point.
After a minute or 2 he moved on to"I am sad that" and having her again fully express that sadness.After going thru it fully, he moved on to "I am afraid that"...again...feeling it fully, saying it loudly....expressing it..and feeling it diminish.
Then "I regret or feel guilty that" feeling it, expressing it fully, talking it thru till it was diminished.
Then he had her go over something shed said she was angry about...and asked her what she thought was underlying it...what sort of underlying belief or expectation was causing her to be angry about this thing.
Then he asked if that belief was true,and if *everyone*in the world would agree that it was true.Then he asked her how she felt when believing this belief. And then How she reacted when she believed this belief.
Then..and this was an awesome thing...he asked...if it was impossible to have that thought or belief, how would she be?
(Think about it..if it was impossible to have that negative thought that you are the most worthless person in the world...how would you be? WOW )
Then he asked her to create 3 scenarios where the opposite of her belief was true.
No one else volunteered, but we did all do the exercise at the same time, aprtly anyways, silently with eyes closed, as the presenter guided us.
It was quite powerful...and I would recommend doing it the first time either as a group...or with 1 or 2 close friends and people who have experience with this.
Feeling your feelings is quite scary at first, especially if the ones you feel the most are anger and fear.
But by working through them...feeling them..lettying them speak...they then become less powerful.
The next dinner and meeting is about using food to raise consciousness. It sounds interesting, and well..I cant wait to eat another great meal and be around these people. I think this is gonna be a great place for me to find some help on my journey.
Namaste and hugggsss to all.
Going to bed now..busy day tomorrow!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Goddess In Training
What Breed of Dog Are You?
My Result: Collie
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Self Pity Rant...be warned- this is very Un-Goddess-like
Why is it that *I* have to be independent and not borrow money from
or rely on others....and others can plan trips seemingly without a worry about how theyre gonna pay for it..and oh, by the way friends and family, can ya lend me some money so I can go on yet another trip??
Why do I have to not buy what I have wanted to buy for a couple months now..stuff for a garden...not a big one..just some containers, seeds, soil and fertilizer..and maybe some rocks to make it look nice...but no..all my extra money has been going either for groceries or gas money.
What are you sacrificing?OK, so the other day you didnt go to the movie meetup group thing. Wow..$10 you sacrificed...good for you.
Tonight I had to put back some groceries that I wanted...nothing fancy..some salad greens-the kind *I* like...avocados which were on sale..cherry tomatoes-on sale...cheese, on sale...and reduced price bananas...because once again today you said "I need you to hold your check till after I get back."
I WORK MY ASS OFF CLEANING DAMN HOUSES....and for WHAT???? The privilege of *looking* at my paycheck..but oh, no...you cant cash it just yet because I dont know how to run a fucking company and Im tired of managing people, I just want to start businesses not learn to manage them wisely because Im such a fucking business guru.
When you asked me (and I hope you were joking) if I had any ideas how you were gonna make payroll....I wanted to go over to you and pop your damn head off. THAT IS WHAT BUSINESS OWNERS DO....Figure out how theyre gonna pay their employees who have done the work to bring the money in to the company. And you wonder why you cant hire cleaners and keep them?? You wonder why I dont feel as loyal to you and the company as I used to? Newsflash dude...its because Im tired of doing work for nothing. Just like you are.Just as Im sure others youve asked to hold checks are starting to feel if they havent already.
Im tired of holding shit in trying to figure out if what Im feeling is real or just projection or jealousy or self pity.
I need to say this....and I have...with no judgement from myself, just I have to get this out...and I dont care what its about or where its coming from...I will sort that out later.
Hope you get a sunburn where the sun doesnt shine.
or rely on others....and others can plan trips seemingly without a worry about how theyre gonna pay for it..and oh, by the way friends and family, can ya lend me some money so I can go on yet another trip??
Why do I have to not buy what I have wanted to buy for a couple months now..stuff for a garden...not a big one..just some containers, seeds, soil and fertilizer..and maybe some rocks to make it look nice...but no..all my extra money has been going either for groceries or gas money.
What are you sacrificing?OK, so the other day you didnt go to the movie meetup group thing. Wow..$10 you sacrificed...good for you.
Tonight I had to put back some groceries that I wanted...nothing fancy..some salad greens-the kind *I* like...avocados which were on sale..cherry tomatoes-on sale...cheese, on sale...and reduced price bananas...because once again today you said "I need you to hold your check till after I get back."
I WORK MY ASS OFF CLEANING DAMN HOUSES....and for WHAT???? The privilege of *looking* at my paycheck..but oh, no...you cant cash it just yet because I dont know how to run a fucking company and Im tired of managing people, I just want to start businesses not learn to manage them wisely because Im such a fucking business guru.
When you asked me (and I hope you were joking) if I had any ideas how you were gonna make payroll....I wanted to go over to you and pop your damn head off. THAT IS WHAT BUSINESS OWNERS DO....Figure out how theyre gonna pay their employees who have done the work to bring the money in to the company. And you wonder why you cant hire cleaners and keep them?? You wonder why I dont feel as loyal to you and the company as I used to? Newsflash dude...its because Im tired of doing work for nothing. Just like you are.Just as Im sure others youve asked to hold checks are starting to feel if they havent already.
Im tired of holding shit in trying to figure out if what Im feeling is real or just projection or jealousy or self pity.
I need to say this....and I have...with no judgement from myself, just I have to get this out...and I dont care what its about or where its coming from...I will sort that out later.
Hope you get a sunburn where the sun doesnt shine.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Failing Forward
I get a newsletter each week from Jon Gordon- a motivational speaker who wrote "The Energy Addict" a book with 101 ways to bring more positive energy into your life.
Todays newsletter is about failure. I have posted it below my thoughts.
Ive been thinking alot lately about all the "failures" I have had in my life. Sometimes I think from a "That person is so much better than me" perspective...and other times , its more, ok, what have I learned and how far have I come from that point.
My "failures" in no particular order:
Being evicted
Losing my nursing job
Having my LPN license suspended due to owing state taxes
Not getting straight A's or better in high school- if Id just "applied myself more"
Losing touch with my grandmother who died last Dec
Losing touch with all my family in NY
Not being the best caregiver I could be all the time to Berta and Mrs Downs
Losing my job with Berta
Leaving St Louis the way I did (rent unpaid, left STL3 board in a lurch,apartment trashed, left CRSS clients without a caregiver)
Letting others tell me how to live my life
Letting fear run (ruin) my life
Losing Tigger
So..do all these add up to a horrible person who should be erased from the face of the earth?
Reading that list...no..these are nothing more than things happening in a person life that kinda sucked.
But to hear the negative voices in my head...yes, all these add up to one horrible monstrosity of a human..who should be banished to a cave somewhere or completely erased from the earth.
So..to those voices..I say : Have I killed anyone? Have I truly *hurt* anyone? Perhaps a few emotional wounds have been inflicted by my failures. Perhaps some people were inconvenienced for awhile.
The damage I have done by these failures...is FAR less than what the negative voices have done to me over the past 30 or so years.
It is time for me to start talking back to them. They have ruled (ruined) my life for far too long.
What are your biggest failures?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Failing Forward
May 26th, 2008 Posted in Newsletter, The Energy Bus, Leadership, Work
Like most people I have failed more times than I care to remember. I’ve struck out playing baseball, I’ve failed to win the client, I’ve lost the big opportunity at work, I’ve had to close two of my restaurants, I lost my race for city council of Atlanta when I was 26, I was fired once, I’ve had a few girls break my heart, I was once a month away from bankruptcy, I was initially rejected by over 100 publishers, I’ve made mistakes as a parent and boss and the list goes on and on and on.
Yet, when I look back I realize that every failure has moved me forward. Every failure taught me a lesson and made me stronger, wiser and better. I failed many times but I failed forward (I first heard this term from John Maxwell). Failing to win a client taught me what not to do so I could start winning more business. Shutting-down restaurants taught me to be smarter about picking the right locations. The girls who broke my heart led me to finding my wife and losing the race for city council led to me leaving Atlanta, moving to the beach with my family and doing the work I do now. I’ve realized that sometimes we have to lose a goal to find our destiny. Sometimes we have to fail to move forward.
I know some of you might be saying, “Well that’s you Jon. You’re just lucky. It doesn’t work that way in my life. You have no idea what failure has done to me.” I hear these comments often and I always respectively disagree.
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fail and those who fail forward. We all fail but what we do with our failures is our choice. At any moment we can stop being someone who fails and become someone who fails forward.
As the great, wise American scholar Rocky Balboa once said “It’s not how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” If that statement doesn’t sum up the life we all face I don’t know what does.
Through each challenge and failure we must stay hopeful and know that failure always leads to a better future if we have an attitude of faith, are open to the possibilities and trust that new and exciting opportunities are coming our way. We have to look at failure not as a dead end but rather as a detour to a better outcome than we could have ever imagined.
If you are experiencing a failure right now at work or home please know you are not alone. If you haven’t failed you haven’t lived. It’s time to ask what you can learn from your failure. What is it teaching you about yourself and your team? Realize it’s all a test. Then it’s time to fail forward, let the bags off the bus, step on the gas pedal, and travel light. Your destiny is waiting for you!
How will you fail forward? Join the conversation and share your thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Todays newsletter is about failure. I have posted it below my thoughts.
Ive been thinking alot lately about all the "failures" I have had in my life. Sometimes I think from a "That person is so much better than me" perspective...and other times , its more, ok, what have I learned and how far have I come from that point.
My "failures" in no particular order:
Being evicted
Losing my nursing job
Having my LPN license suspended due to owing state taxes
Not getting straight A's or better in high school- if Id just "applied myself more"
Losing touch with my grandmother who died last Dec
Losing touch with all my family in NY
Not being the best caregiver I could be all the time to Berta and Mrs Downs
Losing my job with Berta
Leaving St Louis the way I did (rent unpaid, left STL3 board in a lurch,apartment trashed, left CRSS clients without a caregiver)
Letting others tell me how to live my life
Letting fear run (ruin) my life
Losing Tigger
So..do all these add up to a horrible person who should be erased from the face of the earth?
Reading that list...no..these are nothing more than things happening in a person life that kinda sucked.
But to hear the negative voices in my head...yes, all these add up to one horrible monstrosity of a human..who should be banished to a cave somewhere or completely erased from the earth.
So..to those voices..I say : Have I killed anyone? Have I truly *hurt* anyone? Perhaps a few emotional wounds have been inflicted by my failures. Perhaps some people were inconvenienced for awhile.
The damage I have done by these failures...is FAR less than what the negative voices have done to me over the past 30 or so years.
It is time for me to start talking back to them. They have ruled (ruined) my life for far too long.
What are your biggest failures?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Failing Forward
May 26th, 2008 Posted in Newsletter, The Energy Bus, Leadership, Work
Like most people I have failed more times than I care to remember. I’ve struck out playing baseball, I’ve failed to win the client, I’ve lost the big opportunity at work, I’ve had to close two of my restaurants, I lost my race for city council of Atlanta when I was 26, I was fired once, I’ve had a few girls break my heart, I was once a month away from bankruptcy, I was initially rejected by over 100 publishers, I’ve made mistakes as a parent and boss and the list goes on and on and on.
Yet, when I look back I realize that every failure has moved me forward. Every failure taught me a lesson and made me stronger, wiser and better. I failed many times but I failed forward (I first heard this term from John Maxwell). Failing to win a client taught me what not to do so I could start winning more business. Shutting-down restaurants taught me to be smarter about picking the right locations. The girls who broke my heart led me to finding my wife and losing the race for city council led to me leaving Atlanta, moving to the beach with my family and doing the work I do now. I’ve realized that sometimes we have to lose a goal to find our destiny. Sometimes we have to fail to move forward.
I know some of you might be saying, “Well that’s you Jon. You’re just lucky. It doesn’t work that way in my life. You have no idea what failure has done to me.” I hear these comments often and I always respectively disagree.
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fail and those who fail forward. We all fail but what we do with our failures is our choice. At any moment we can stop being someone who fails and become someone who fails forward.
As the great, wise American scholar Rocky Balboa once said “It’s not how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” If that statement doesn’t sum up the life we all face I don’t know what does.
Through each challenge and failure we must stay hopeful and know that failure always leads to a better future if we have an attitude of faith, are open to the possibilities and trust that new and exciting opportunities are coming our way. We have to look at failure not as a dead end but rather as a detour to a better outcome than we could have ever imagined.
If you are experiencing a failure right now at work or home please know you are not alone. If you haven’t failed you haven’t lived. It’s time to ask what you can learn from your failure. What is it teaching you about yourself and your team? Realize it’s all a test. Then it’s time to fail forward, let the bags off the bus, step on the gas pedal, and travel light. Your destiny is waiting for you!
How will you fail forward? Join the conversation and share your thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Why Ceiling Cat...WHY??
I have a new Deity...Ceiling Cat
That site is a time waster..very addictive...but OMG..so funny!
Anyways, back to why Im asking "WHY!"
My sister told me last night that she went to get tests done before getting her tubes tied. Guess what...shes pregnant.
She has 7 kids
4 are in foster care
The last 3 have health problems...and most of the first 4 have some sort of developmental problem...one has a possible psychiatric disorder.
And shes bringing yet another child she cant take care of into this world.
Why does she get to have 8 kids...while my friend Patty who is a Mama Bear with her kids and was meant to be a Mom...has 2...and had 2 miscarriages.
Why Ceiling Cat...why???
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Facing Spaghetti Junction
Monday afternoon a man jumped from the top of Spaghetti Junction (where I-85 meets I-285-its a mess of overpasses and ramps and such)
Yes, he committed suicide (police found a note at his home later)
Yesterday I had to drive past/through Spaghetti Junction. I found myself looking at it and wondering for sure which level he jumped from (news didnt tell till last night) wondering if he changed his mind as he was falling...wondering if he did die instantly or if he suffered for a minute or two.
I started crying....and couldnt figure out why.
I was sad...that he felt that was his only option.And I was reminded of when I got very close to that point a couple years ago.
But something inside me still wanted to live...so I sought help.
There is always hope...always a better tomorrow. Yes, right now it sucks, its hard and youre not sure if you can make it through it. And you dont see *how* you could possibly live through the pain.
Others have been there...others can help you make it.
Don't give up.
Don't jump.
Today I looked at it again...no tears...just sadness that someone had reached the point of no return.
Hopefully soon I will be able to pass by and under it without much thought...and no tears. I have to pass this area-either look at it or drive through it at least once a day. So I need to get through and past this.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Unhappy Anniversary
From 'gay plague' to global tragedy: An AIDS anniversary by Richard Ingham
Sun May 18, 7:00 PM ET
The campaign against AIDS marks an important anniversary this week, bringing to mind victories of science and the human spirit but also defeats, stigma and ignorance in a combat that has claimed more lives than World War I.
On May 20 1983, in a paper published in the US journal Science, a team from France's Pasteur Institute, led by Luc Montagnier, described a suspect virus found in a patient who had died of AIDS.
Montagnier's groundbreaking work led to the determination by US researcher Robert Gallo that the virus was indeed the cause of acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS).
At last, a key had been found to understanding the mysterious immune-ravaging disease -- the "gay plague" as British tabloids smugly called it -- which had surfaced among American homosexuals two years earlier.
It took another three years to resolve a spat over the pair's rival claims to be first to discover the AIDS virus, enabling the duo to share equally in the glory.
The mood was upbeat.
Never had a new, killer pathogen been identified so quickly.
Stoked by the success of antibiotics and the polio vaccine, optimism was brimming that this threat would now be stopped in its tracks.
"Today's discovery represents the triumph of science over a dreaded disease," the then US health secretary Margaret Heckler declared, when Gallo staked his claim on the virus discovery in April 1984.
"We hope to have a vaccine ready for testing in about two years."
Few promises have been so tragically premature.
When Heckler uttered those words, the tally of known cases of AIDS was less than 3,000.
Today, the number stands at 25 million dead, heterosexual and homosexual alike, and another 33 million infected.
The scale of human misery, though, is incalculable. A ragged army of more than 11 million children have lost one or both parents to the disease.
So what happened?
"In the field of AIDS, a huge number of mistakes have been made over the past 25 years," sighs a leading French researcher, Olivier Schwartz.
On the plus side, the men and women in lab coats made good headway against HIV.
They provided an arsenal of drugs that, with the advent of the triple "cocktail" of antiretrovirals in the mid-1990s, have helped turn HIV from a death sentence to a manageable disease.
But there is still no vaccine, for the virus has turned out to be an unimaginably slippery, mutating foe -- quite possibly the most elusive pathogen to have emerged in human history.
Attempts to make an HIV-thwarting vaginal gel, or microbicide, have been similarly frustrating.
Thus, in the 21st century, the main shield against HIV is the rubber condom, invented in the 19th century -- or sexual abstention, which is timeless.
Then there was catastrophic delay, among politicians, policymakers, religious leaders and the public too, about rooting out the taboo, stigma, myth and complacency in which AIDS proliferates.
This work still remains dangerously incomplete.
In China, India and the countries of the former Soviet Union, the peril remains of the virus leaping from niches of infection among drug users, homosexuals and prostitutes to a mainstream epidemic.
Even more culpable was the horrific wait, of nearly a decade, before antiretrovirals started to fall sharply in price and become available to sub-Saharan Africa, where two-thirds of people with HIV or AIDS live.
Price is no longer the big problem. Political denial and lack of infrastructure to distribute the precious drugs are.
"In Africa, not even 10 percent of the people who need treatment are getting it," says Schwartz, noting that for every person in low- or mid-income countries who began receiving antiretrovirals in 2006, six new people became infected.
The UN Millennium Goals and G8 pledges testify that political commitment on AIDS is strong and that the world is now aware that novel infectious diseases are everyone's problem. No country, however strong or secure its borders, is secure.
Billions of dollars are being marshalled by the Global Fund, and the United States, under President George W. Bush, has boosted its spending on AIDS emphatically.
But to meet the goal of universal access to AIDS treatment and care by 2010 would require a quadrupling of funds to an estimated 42 billion dollars annually, if overhauling healthcare systems is included, according to some estimates.
Today, the terror of AIDS that prevailed 25 years ago has disappeared -- but so has the burning optimism.
"I would have preferred to celebrate the anniversary of the end of the epidemic than of the publication" of the isolation of the virus, Montagnier told AFP.
Lars Kallings, a Swedish microbiologist who is the founding president of the International AIDS Society, gives a bleak assessment: "HIV/AIDS may never disappear from mankind."
Sun May 18, 7:00 PM ET
The campaign against AIDS marks an important anniversary this week, bringing to mind victories of science and the human spirit but also defeats, stigma and ignorance in a combat that has claimed more lives than World War I.
On May 20 1983, in a paper published in the US journal Science, a team from France's Pasteur Institute, led by Luc Montagnier, described a suspect virus found in a patient who had died of AIDS.
Montagnier's groundbreaking work led to the determination by US researcher Robert Gallo that the virus was indeed the cause of acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS).
At last, a key had been found to understanding the mysterious immune-ravaging disease -- the "gay plague" as British tabloids smugly called it -- which had surfaced among American homosexuals two years earlier.
It took another three years to resolve a spat over the pair's rival claims to be first to discover the AIDS virus, enabling the duo to share equally in the glory.
The mood was upbeat.
Never had a new, killer pathogen been identified so quickly.
Stoked by the success of antibiotics and the polio vaccine, optimism was brimming that this threat would now be stopped in its tracks.
"Today's discovery represents the triumph of science over a dreaded disease," the then US health secretary Margaret Heckler declared, when Gallo staked his claim on the virus discovery in April 1984.
"We hope to have a vaccine ready for testing in about two years."
Few promises have been so tragically premature.
When Heckler uttered those words, the tally of known cases of AIDS was less than 3,000.
Today, the number stands at 25 million dead, heterosexual and homosexual alike, and another 33 million infected.
The scale of human misery, though, is incalculable. A ragged army of more than 11 million children have lost one or both parents to the disease.
So what happened?
"In the field of AIDS, a huge number of mistakes have been made over the past 25 years," sighs a leading French researcher, Olivier Schwartz.
On the plus side, the men and women in lab coats made good headway against HIV.
They provided an arsenal of drugs that, with the advent of the triple "cocktail" of antiretrovirals in the mid-1990s, have helped turn HIV from a death sentence to a manageable disease.
But there is still no vaccine, for the virus has turned out to be an unimaginably slippery, mutating foe -- quite possibly the most elusive pathogen to have emerged in human history.
Attempts to make an HIV-thwarting vaginal gel, or microbicide, have been similarly frustrating.
Thus, in the 21st century, the main shield against HIV is the rubber condom, invented in the 19th century -- or sexual abstention, which is timeless.
Then there was catastrophic delay, among politicians, policymakers, religious leaders and the public too, about rooting out the taboo, stigma, myth and complacency in which AIDS proliferates.
This work still remains dangerously incomplete.
In China, India and the countries of the former Soviet Union, the peril remains of the virus leaping from niches of infection among drug users, homosexuals and prostitutes to a mainstream epidemic.
Even more culpable was the horrific wait, of nearly a decade, before antiretrovirals started to fall sharply in price and become available to sub-Saharan Africa, where two-thirds of people with HIV or AIDS live.
Price is no longer the big problem. Political denial and lack of infrastructure to distribute the precious drugs are.
"In Africa, not even 10 percent of the people who need treatment are getting it," says Schwartz, noting that for every person in low- or mid-income countries who began receiving antiretrovirals in 2006, six new people became infected.
The UN Millennium Goals and G8 pledges testify that political commitment on AIDS is strong and that the world is now aware that novel infectious diseases are everyone's problem. No country, however strong or secure its borders, is secure.
Billions of dollars are being marshalled by the Global Fund, and the United States, under President George W. Bush, has boosted its spending on AIDS emphatically.
But to meet the goal of universal access to AIDS treatment and care by 2010 would require a quadrupling of funds to an estimated 42 billion dollars annually, if overhauling healthcare systems is included, according to some estimates.
Today, the terror of AIDS that prevailed 25 years ago has disappeared -- but so has the burning optimism.
"I would have preferred to celebrate the anniversary of the end of the epidemic than of the publication" of the isolation of the virus, Montagnier told AFP.
Lars Kallings, a Swedish microbiologist who is the founding president of the International AIDS Society, gives a bleak assessment: "HIV/AIDS may never disappear from mankind."
An oldie but a goodie
I heard this today on Radio Free Lunch- a local station has in their lunch hour a program where people or the DJ pick a topic and send in song ideas for that topic. Todays is "advice to graduates". One of the songs they picked was a song I remember from about 10 years ago..."Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" by Baz Luhrman.
It has some great advice...here it is:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
It has some great advice...here it is:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Is this the definition of insanity??
Or do I just need to get laid.
There's a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I guess by that definition...having sex with my roomie *would* be insane.
*sighs*
I am just so friggin' horny.
And I dont do casual sex. I cant go to a bar or somewhere and pick up someone for the sole purpose of fucking his brains out...or having mine fucked out.
I have taken matters into my own hands...and yeah, its good...for awhile. But then I run out of batteries or my hand gets tired...lol.
It isnt the same though...and I want more. I need more. I need that connection with someone else...to feel skin against my skin...to have my nipples sucked..to feel him inside me...to feel his weight on me...against me...
*sighs*
But...I know that when we've gone there before...it brings up memories of how it used to be with us. And I cant have that again...we can't go back there. To being lovers. To me wanting more from our relationship than friends with benefits. To him saying "No, I can't be more to you than that."
I want more from a relationship than that. I want it all...to be friends and lovers..to go somewhere on a Saturday and spend all day together having fun...then come home and spend all night together...to *be* together...not just be friends here...lovers here...but no commitment...nothing more...
I want more. I DESERVE more.
And to get more....I have to wait.
Until I am ready...to have sex with someone who respects me...who doesnt want just sex...but rather the whole pie.
Sex, love, commitment, togetherness.
I read this weekend that if these four- Head, Heart, Gut and Groin do not all agree...even if just one is saying no...it is best to not do whatever you want to do.
I am going to write that down and put it up where I will see it every day. Till my libido goes back under its shell.
Hope its soon.
Cause my groin is saying GO FOR IT! But my heart is saying no...not again, please.
There's a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I guess by that definition...having sex with my roomie *would* be insane.
*sighs*
I am just so friggin' horny.
And I dont do casual sex. I cant go to a bar or somewhere and pick up someone for the sole purpose of fucking his brains out...or having mine fucked out.
I have taken matters into my own hands...and yeah, its good...for awhile. But then I run out of batteries or my hand gets tired...lol.
It isnt the same though...and I want more. I need more. I need that connection with someone else...to feel skin against my skin...to have my nipples sucked..to feel him inside me...to feel his weight on me...against me...
*sighs*
But...I know that when we've gone there before...it brings up memories of how it used to be with us. And I cant have that again...we can't go back there. To being lovers. To me wanting more from our relationship than friends with benefits. To him saying "No, I can't be more to you than that."
I want more from a relationship than that. I want it all...to be friends and lovers..to go somewhere on a Saturday and spend all day together having fun...then come home and spend all night together...to *be* together...not just be friends here...lovers here...but no commitment...nothing more...
I want more. I DESERVE more.
And to get more....I have to wait.
Until I am ready...to have sex with someone who respects me...who doesnt want just sex...but rather the whole pie.
Sex, love, commitment, togetherness.
I read this weekend that if these four- Head, Heart, Gut and Groin do not all agree...even if just one is saying no...it is best to not do whatever you want to do.
I am going to write that down and put it up where I will see it every day. Till my libido goes back under its shell.
Hope its soon.
Cause my groin is saying GO FOR IT! But my heart is saying no...not again, please.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
How do you know?
How do you tell whats really happening...and what your mind is projecting..or imagining is whats happening.
Yes, I know...wtf am I talking about. lol
OK..for instance..and this is what made me ask the question...you think you see someone being a certain way...we'll say being needy...asking you for help all the time..without seeing if they can do it themselves first. You get upset with them for asking you yet again to help them. Then you get upset with yourself for being upset...what they asked for isnt that big of a deal..and really you werent doing anything anyways..so why *cant* you help them out??
You also ask why it is that you are encouraged to not be and criticized for having been and being so needy...but it seems others are as needy or more needy thatn you are or were...but somehow thats okay...because when you call them on it..it seems you get excuses and get told oh youre just seeing things wrong.
How do you see whats really going on...when your mind has been making things up (as if life isnt hard enough..your mind has to make shit up...geezzz)
How do you make sure whats really going on before you react to it?
And how do you learn to trust yourself and your perception when you and it have been so messed up for so long?
I hate to start this blog on a note like this..but this is something thats been weighing on my mind today. Has been for a couple days actually.
Yes, I know...wtf am I talking about. lol
OK..for instance..and this is what made me ask the question...you think you see someone being a certain way...we'll say being needy...asking you for help all the time..without seeing if they can do it themselves first. You get upset with them for asking you yet again to help them. Then you get upset with yourself for being upset...what they asked for isnt that big of a deal..and really you werent doing anything anyways..so why *cant* you help them out??
You also ask why it is that you are encouraged to not be and criticized for having been and being so needy...but it seems others are as needy or more needy thatn you are or were...but somehow thats okay...because when you call them on it..it seems you get excuses and get told oh youre just seeing things wrong.
How do you see whats really going on...when your mind has been making things up (as if life isnt hard enough..your mind has to make shit up...geezzz)
How do you make sure whats really going on before you react to it?
And how do you learn to trust yourself and your perception when you and it have been so messed up for so long?
I hate to start this blog on a note like this..but this is something thats been weighing on my mind today. Has been for a couple days actually.
Hello there, remember me?
Well, I cant seem to add my old blog account to this one..so..I will just write here.I did manage to log in to that old account..but.."Random Crazy Thoughts" is no longer how I wish to view my thoughts.
Yes, they can be quite random..and quite crazy at times...lol...but that just seems too negative for my liking.
OK..so here goes.
Goddess In Training...still not sure about that either..as Im not sure I can live up to being a Goddess. Though I have always thought it would be really cool to have Goddess powers...to be able to help the world with a wave of my hand...to destroy my enemies with a look...well..ok..nuff fantasy.
I am not a Goddess. Nor am I sure I want to be.
As the song "Superman" by Five For Fighting says " Im just out to find a better part of me"
I created this blog several months ago...and havent done anything with it. With all the problems Yahell 360 is having and its impending (when??) end..I decided to come here and write.
So...stay tuned as I write down my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my fantasies...
Strap yourself in...it might get a little bumpy at times....; )
Yes, they can be quite random..and quite crazy at times...lol...but that just seems too negative for my liking.
OK..so here goes.
Goddess In Training...still not sure about that either..as Im not sure I can live up to being a Goddess. Though I have always thought it would be really cool to have Goddess powers...to be able to help the world with a wave of my hand...to destroy my enemies with a look...well..ok..nuff fantasy.
I am not a Goddess. Nor am I sure I want to be.
As the song "Superman" by Five For Fighting says " Im just out to find a better part of me"
I created this blog several months ago...and havent done anything with it. With all the problems Yahell 360 is having and its impending (when??) end..I decided to come here and write.
So...stay tuned as I write down my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my fantasies...
Strap yourself in...it might get a little bumpy at times....; )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
