Judgement vs opinion

Staying Open And Fluid
Judgment Versus Opinion
Most of us understand that when we judge someone, or someone judges us, it is a negative emotional experience. As a result, we naturally want to avoid being judgmental, but this gets confusing when we feel we have to suppress thoughts that could actually be offering us guidance. For example, we may meet someone new and suppress a negative feeling about them, thinking that we don’t want to fall into the trap of being judgmental. Later, though, it may turn out that paying attention to that thought could have helped us take care of ourselves or someone else.

It is important to learn to distinguish inner guidance, and having an opinion, from judgment, otherwise we run the risk of not listening to our intuition and not allowing ourselves to form opinions. Inner guidance and opinions both help us to interact more intelligently in the world, so we don’t want to throw them out in an effort to avoid being judgmental. Our intuition usually makes itself known to us in a flash, and often has a physical component—a flutter in our stomachs, sweaty palms, or a chill. When we use this information to help us navigate a situation, we always benefit. Similarly, having an opinion about a person or an idea allows us to converse about it in a focused way with intention. Listening to our intuition and forming opinions are both positive outcomes of our ability to interpret the information that comes our way.

When we make a judgment, on the other hand, we attempt to have a final say on whether someone or something is inherently good or bad. Judgments close us down instead of opening us up; opinions have a lighter quality and are amenable to change. Once a judgment has been made, there is no more conversation or consideration, whereas opinions invite further debate. Intuition guides us from moment to moment, but, unlike judgment, never makes a final decree. In other words, it is only healthy to be open to the information we receive and to allow ourselves to process that information. As long as we stay open and fluid, we can trust that we have not fallen prey to the trap of judgment.


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This was in my inbox this morning...and I will do my best to keep it in mind this weekend.

I am attending my first play party since FLOG last summer this weekend. I am going to be playing also (as of right now thats in the plans...lol) Yes, the man I will be playing with knows Im back to beginner status, and he has many years of experience and is well known and respected around BDSM circles nationwide.No,Im not naming names. I am in good hands, thats all you need to know. :P

I am worried that I will be listening to the language and feel the need to express my very strong opinions..which border on judgement at times. BDSM is not healthy...for ME. Those submissives who choose to give up power and do all those things for their Doms...they CHOOSE that. Just as I chose to take some time away from BDSM. Just as I have chosen to not attend munches and such. Just as I have made the choice to NOT submit. If I want them to respect my choices and opinions, I must respect *their* opinions and choices.

I will still bring that clothespin for my tongue, I think. ;)